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10/10
Why Your Fear Is Killing Your Dreams

Why Your Fear Is Killing Your Dreams

I’m not sure how to feel right now – it’s a cross between being livid and feeling sorry for these people.

If you’ve been reading my stuff for any length of time, you know that I’m a big believer in pushing through your limits and your fears to live the life of your dreams.

So you can imagine how I felt when I recently saw two people give into their fears…. and prevent themselves from achieving what they want from life – even though it was right in front of their face… available for the taking.

Here’s the scenario:

A lovely couple on low incomes had worked very hard over the last 25 years to pay off the debt on their home. However, they were both completely burned out from all the overtime they have had to do and were looking for a way out.

When they met me, they said they would like to be in a position where they could retire within 5 years…. and retire comfortably.

So I put a structure in place for them where they could achieve this goal easily… and retire with an income of $100,000 per annum after tax. It was quite different to anything they had seen before so they had lots of questions.

I spent hours answering every one of their questions and by the end of it, the only question that was left to ask was,

“Why wouldn’t you go through with this?”

Her answer? “I’m chicken!”

Top marks for honesty.

By the time we got to this stage, it was late on Friday night. I told them to go sleep on it over the weekend and I would be in touch on Monday. I gave them a lot of reading material as well.

Guess what happened over the weekend?

She went to work on the Saturday and told her colleagues about the idea. Who were her colleagues?

Other factory workers on very low incomes. And what did they say?

“Something like this could never work… it’s too good to be true…. you’re just a factory worker – who are you to be able to achieve something like this… forget about it” and more.

Now, don’t get me wrong – I have nothing against factory workers but the question to ask is, “Are they the right people to be going to for financial advice?”

This poor lady was so freaked out by what her colleagues said that she completely shut down… and decided to just do nothing and continue to work the crazy hours she has done for the last several years for very little return.

And why did she choose this course of action?

Because she was scared. Because it was different to what everyone else in her inner circle was doing and because her so called friends told her it was a bad idea.

Result? Nothing…

She will let the opinions of her well meaning but unqualified group of friends stop her and her partner from achieving what they want from life.

So what about you? Who are you listening to? Who have you allowed to speak into your life?

I have a very strict rule on this– there are certain people I have allowed to speak into my life on certain issues. For example, I have a couple of friends who advise me on almost everything finance related. They are absolute experts in this area. However, I don’t go to them for advice on health – I have someone else for that.

What about you? Do you have a group of people who can support you in the achievement of your goals?

Remember, the major reason people don’t achieve what they want from life is fear. To help us overcome this fear, we sometimes try and get advice from people we know… even though they are not qualified. And that can kill you!

Remember, fear will kill your dreams – just like it did with this couple.

If you want to have something you’ve never had before, you need to do something you’ve never done before… that means you need to do something for the first time. And that’s almost always scary! So the question to ask is what’s bigger – your dream or your fears?

Whenever I’m scared of doing something (and I frequently am), I ask myself these 3 questions;

1.       What could I get if I go ahead?

2.       What could I lose if I go ahead?

3.       What could I lose if I continue to do nothing?

If you find that fear is continuing to stop you, then the answers to these questions almost always help me get over my fears. If you want to find out more about how to overcome fear, primarily the fear of failure then read my post – Don’t fear failure, use it as a learning experience instead.

What about you? Where has fear stopped you from being all that you can be… and what are you doing about it? I’d love to find out.

To your success,

Niro

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10 Comments to this post:

  • October 27th, 2010 | 01:06 am

    Never knew that it is like that. Live life and learn.

  • October 27th, 2010 | 01:55 am

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Kathryn Lang, Kathrynclang and TheBeautyinyou – Why your fears are killing your dreams http://bit.ly/9gZINP [BLOG] <– pls rt [...]

  • October 27th, 2010 | 02:17 am

    WHEW! Amen sister! I don’t know how many times a day I see this myself. I have only recently begun to change some things in my OWN life to rectify this “stinking thinking” as well. You go girl. Keep up the good work.

  • October 27th, 2010 | 02:18 am

    Oops I see that you are not a girl. But a woman had referred this article to me so I assumed it was HER blog. Sorry.

  • Niro Says:
    October 27th, 2010 | 04:47 pm

    Hi Carol, no problems at all. Glad you liked the post though :-)

  • Niro Says:
    October 27th, 2010 | 04:50 pm

    We learn all the time :-) Thank you for your comment.

  • Neville Mckew Says:
    January 30th, 2011 | 06:52 pm

    -.~ I am really thankful to this topic because it really gives great information “”-

  • Danielle Says:
    September 27th, 2012 | 12:17 am

    I am really enjoying reading your articles.. I am so afraid of failure that it has nearly ruined my marriage and the rest of my life. I hesitate in every decision causing anxiety and frustration for myself and my husband. I have caused problems in our life because I am afraid to fail again and I constantly make bad decisions because of my fears.

  • Jules Says:
    January 24th, 2013 | 01:43 am

    Excellent post !!
    I look back at times in my life where I was stuck , working but not really enjoying life, and a little thought said “try doing an outdoor guide course in the US” and I didnt… my french friends, my family would have come up with all sorts of “yes but…” that was in 1998-2000 then in 2006, I did an outdoor guides course in Australia..(we here I had immigrated) and did fairly well as an outdoor educator for 2 years… at 36 I finally did what I really wanted to do.

    Now after 4 years in the Infantry, and about to discharge I am another turning point, and I am keeping my dreams to myself except for a select few… many people out there are stuck and don’t see why you should leave the herd, others lack imagination.

    In some cases, I would recommend people move to another state, have little or no contact with their friends back home, their ex-girlfriends etc…
    as in the film “the man who wanted to live his life” (book: the big picture by douglas kennedy) . At this stage in humanity, those who have the courage to self-realize are in the minority and need to be aware of the avalanche of negativity they will receive if they do follow their bliss..

    mmm I sometimes think of changing my email address and dissapearing for a year (warning people i am doing this so they dont think im dead..) witht facebook and email we are sometimes a bit too connected.

  • Niro Says:
    February 6th, 2013 | 06:30 am

    Thanks Jules. Let your dreams guide your life, not your fears. And I agree, sometimes it makes sense to keep your goals and dreams to yourself or only share with limited people. It can just make things easier!

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