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10/09Failure is something that most of us will do almost anything to avoid for fear of pain, punishment or loss of face. Yet, failure is a natural part of success. Think of the young child who learns to walk. She has to fall over and fail several times before she can succeed at walking. Yet, I don’t know any mothers who would say, “Look child, you’ve fallen over 7 times – I just don’t think you’ll learn to walk, so stop trying.” No, a mother will say, “My child will walk! And she will keep trying until she can walk!” And even if the mother did not say that, the child would never give up anyway. Yet, as mature adults, we seem to have lost that sense of drive and conviction that we can achieve anything we want. We seem to be afraid of failure and try and avoid failure at any cost and avoid taking any risks. Many of us in fact stick our head in the sand and just hope things will turn out for the best. Many of us do the same things day in day out, hoping that life will change. Yet, we’ve all heard the saying that “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.” In fact, I believe that the fear of failure is the primary reason why so many of us do not actively pursue the life of our dreams. The irony is the person who is willing to have a go and persist, might fail many times, sometimes even painfully so but in time he will succeed. However, the person who avoids failure at all costs, ends up on their death bed regretting their failure to take action and wishing they could have another chance at life. Regardless of what you believe, this is the only life you will remember, so why not give it all you got. Your life is not a rehearsal. Mark Twain said, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
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Many of us seem to have forgotten the very truth that every child knows – when you set a goal you might fail several times, but you only need to succeed once. Regardless of how often you fall over, you only need to succeed once at walking and once you do, your failures become immaterial. When you are pursuing the partner of your dreams, you might have several failed relationships, but you only need to succeed once. Why? Because once you succeed once, you have achieved the goal, learned the skill and enjoyed the experience. Ask any person who has succeeded in achieving the life of their dreams or any goal for that matter, and they will tell you that their success was worth every ounce of pain, every sacrifice and every perceived failure. In fact, I’ve spoken to people who have not achieved their goals despite giving it their all and they will tell you that they are glad they tried because at least they know that gave it their best; they gave it a shot! It seems that there is no real long term downside to giving something a go, pursuing a goal or chasing the life of your dreams.
Henry Ford said, “Failure is only an opportunity to more intelligently begin again.” I constantly remind myself of this statement because I know I have “failed” in my life so many times. I choose to also adopt Michael Jordan’s belief which is that “I have failed time and time again… and that is why I succeed.” Personally, I believe that it is because I have failed so many times in my life that I succeed. Every successful person knows that failure is simply a rung on the ladder to success.
Yet, there are those among us who discount this theory arguing that it is a philosophy put forward by those “positive thinking” and “motivational” people. They argue that everyone knows that failure is the opposite of success. Isn’t it amazing how people will go to great lengths to justify their ignorance? Let’s look at failure from a scientific perspective – which ironically argues that there is no such thing as absolute failure. Even failing to get the desired outcome is still a successful outcome in and of itself because failure is a required part of every experiment. Thomas Edison understood this perfectly.
The story of his apparent failures are legendary – it is said that he failed 9,999 times before he succeeded in inventing the light bulb on his 10,000th attempt. The story goes that he and his assistant were working on the light bulb when Edison did something that caused an explosion. Edison and his assistant were thrown backwards and glass smashed everywhere. Edison’s assistant was frightened witless, yet Edison got up, calmly dusted himself off and started writing in his journal. The assistant was incredulous and started yelling at Edison. “Are you crazy? Can’t you see you nearly killed us – why do you keep trying when you just failed…. AGAIN?” Edison, again calmly, looked up and replied, “I have not failed. I have simply discovered the 9,999th way not to invent a light bulb. However, I have also found a way of making an explosion and I better write it down before I forget.” Now that’s the positive mindset that gave human kind the light bulb and changed the course of our destiny forever.
Sometimes it is in fact our failures that lead us to our greatest results. For example, the simple “Post-It Note” from 3M is a classic example of this. Apparently, 3M were looking to create something that could be stuck on permanently and they failed. However, they looked at how they could use their “failure” for a benefit and they marketed it as the”Post-It Note”…. the rest is history. What about you? What do you do when you fail?
Tony Robbins says that there is no failure. There are only ever results. Some results we expect and we like which we call success and others we don’t like, which we label failure. For me, I try and look at situations where I don’t achieve my goals as stepping stones and lessons. I believe that as long as I’ve learned something in the process and I’m a better man for the experience, then my effort was worth it. Now I know more for next time. I also believe that if I fail to get the outcome I wanted it is because there is something even better in store for me so I always try again. Besides, for me “Giving Up” is the ultimate failure. I don’t want written on my tombstone when I die – “He Gave Up Before He Could Succeed”. Do you? Remember the line “Quitters Never Win and Winners Never Quit.”
There is another famed fable from Napolean Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich” about the gold digger who went digging for gold. He dug and he dug, and he finally gave up saying that there was no more gold to be found there. So he sold his gold digging equipment, which I imagine was just a shovel (clearly gold digging is not my speciality 
) and then went home. The person who bought his stuff continued to dig and just 3 feet from where the first gold digger gave up, this guy struck gold – literally. In fact, it ended up being one of the richest veins of gold ever found during the gold digging era. The man who gave up, gave up just 3 feet from his greatest success. His failure was not in failing to find gold. His failure was giving up too soon. Have you ever given up too soon? Remember, the greatest success stories would never have made it if they gave up at the first sign of failure or rejection. The Beatles were told their music would never be main stream, the authors of “Chicken Soup For The Soul” were told on countless occasions that “nobody reads short stories anymore”, Michael Jordan did not make his high school basketball team, Richard Branson’s first business did not make any money and Steve Jobs was actually thrown out of Apple! Often the single difference between those who make it and those who do not is the unwillingess to give up, regardless of the challenge.
How often do you give up? And what if you give up just at the point when you are about to succeed. Remember, our biggest failures come just before our biggest successes. The night is always darkest just before dawn and the start of a new day. Remember the gold digger who gave up just 3 feet from his greatest success. So never give up on going after the life of your dreams. And never shy away from trying something new. Remember, it is only by trying something new that we can get a different result. Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result is, as I said above, the definition of insanity. Are you insane?
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