In life, I had always believed that we need to work on our weaknesses so that we can become better people. Turn your weaknesses into strengths was my motto in life and I thought this was the way to do business as well.

So I went and did things where I knew I was weak – with the aim of improving my skills so that I could then make more money.

Dumb!

Really, really dumb!!

By taking this path, I lost money, time, my self confidence and everything that goes with that. I worked my butt off for years for zero return. In fact, not only did I make zero return I went backwards.I would have achieved more doing nothing, sitting around watching TV and eating junk food all day.

Seriously!! It was terrible.

Does that mean you never work on your weaknesses? Absolutely not! There is definitely a time for working on your weaknesses and a time for leading with your strengths. In today’s video I go through this in some detail so I really hope you enjoy it. The lessons I talk about in this video could have saved me a number of years of heartache and pain. And tens of thousands of dollars in lost income.

Use these lessons and I guarantee your path to success will be a lot more enjoyable, fulfilling and profitable.

Watch the video now:

Now, let me know what you thought of the video. Leave me a comment below and then share this on twitter, facebook or stumbleupon.

To your success,

Niro Thambipillay

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“If you enjoy the process, it’s your dream. … If you are enduring the process, just desperate for the result, it’s somebody else’s dream”
- Salma Hayek

I absolutely love this quote and the wisdom it contains. If all of us could focus more on doing something we enjoy and following our passion, then our lives would be so much better. I am so guilty of not adhering to this and ending up frustrated and miserable. In this short video, I talk about how following Salma Hayek’s philosophy could lead to a life more enjoyable and more rewarding than you ever thought. I hope you enjoy it and please leave me a comment below….

Let me know what you think of this video and leave me a comment below. I’d really appreciate it if you shared it on twitter and facebook as well.

In the last month, the world has lost two young souls who had the world at their feet. Brittany Murphy known for such films as “8 Mile” and for being the voice behind Gloria on “Happy Feet” passed away on December 20, 2009 at the age of 32. Her film career was starting to blossom and she was ready to take the world by storm – and yet she is now longer with us.

Casey Johnson was the heiress to the Johnson & Johnson fortune and could have done almost whatever she wanted to with her life. And yet, she too is now longer with us, passing away at the young age of just 30.

From this, we see just how fragile life is. Many people live life as if we can delay our dreams and delay taking the actions that will bring us everything we want in life. We live life taking the people we care about for granted, never realising that tomorrow it could all be over. By no means am I suggesting that you become morbid about life – rather I believe we need to appreciate life and make the best of every single day that we have. Life is just too short to be playing at less than our potential or to be taking things for granted.

One of my mentors told me to constantly connect with my mortality. After all, it is a fact that one day we will no longer be here. So live each day as if it was your last but plan as if you will live forever. Getting that balance right is key to a fulfilled, happy and successful life.

Start by being grateful for the good things in your life and start by showing the people who are important to you just how much you care. Also, have a look at your life right now – is it in balance? Are you spending your time in line with what is most important to you? If not, why not? Are you too busy running around being busy that you have forgotten to live the life of your design? It’s easy to say that we’re busy – in fact people are busier today than ever before. But remember, one day this will all come to an end and when you are in your last few moments of your life, will you look back and have preferred to spend extra time in your cubicle at work or extra time with the people you care about? Would you have preferred to have spent more time looking at the walls of your office or exploring the world?

Remember life is short! Attack it with everything you’ve got – go for your dreams. After all, you’re not going to get out of this thing alive. The only question is – how long do you have? And that’s anyone’s guess. So don’t put your dreams off! Start living today as if today was your last day on earth but then plan to live forever because you could be around for a while yet

Remember, when you came into this world, you were crying and everyone was happy. When your final moments come, make sure you live your life in a way that you are smiling and everyone else is crying. Live your life such that the impact of it outlasts you.

To living your best life,

Niro Thambipillay

PS: If you want some assistance with how to get more done each day and have the time to spend on the things that matter to you so you can live your dreams, then sign up below for my 5 Essentials to Peak Performance Video training series where I’ll show you:

• How to double your productivity so you can get twice as much done in a day.
• How to reduce the amount of stress you experience each day by half.
• How to reduce the impact of distractions and interruptions by 70%
• How to finally have the time to work on the things that matter to you, rather than constantly trying to fulfil everyone else’s expectations.
• How to enjoy greater feelings of inner peace and contentment every single day.

Just give me your name and email address below and I’ll give you instant access to the first video!

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Happy New Year! It is the start of a new year, the start of a new decade. What a great opportunity to make a fresh start! Make this year your greatest yet! Remember, to achieve something you have never achieved before, you need to do something you have never done before and to do something you have never done before you need to be someone you have never been before. Who do you need to be in order to achieve what you want from life this year?

For me to achieve my goals and dreams, I need to be someone who is organised, disciplined and focused. What about you?

Below is a short video from me wishing you all the best for 2010 and showing a brief highlights package from my vantage point at the Sydney 2010 NYE Fireworks. I hope you enjoy it and let me leave you with a final message:

Remember in life, change is automatic but progress is not. Make sure that you are make progress this year by setting yourself a worthy goal, getting a mentor and joining a great network of like minded people who can keep you on track.

To 2010 – the greatest year of your life!

Niro

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“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”

All of us want a life that is magical, magnificent and one of fulfilment. Yet many of us think that a magnificent life is something that happens to us – almost as if it is something that is done to us without our involvement. We think that a life of fulfilment is something reserved only for the lucky ones. In this short video, I talk about how a magical life is created through making a choice and a decision. We can all have a life full of more memorable moments regardless of our current circumstances. Enjoy

I hope you enjoyed this video. If so please share it on twitter, digg and stumbleupon. I’d really appreciate it

Finally, please leave me a comment below. I’d love to hear what you thought.

To creating more magic in your life,

Niro

Forgiveness is one of those topics that always creates heated discussion. Some people believe that it the strong who forgive, for example Mahatma Gandhi. Others believe that it is weak to forgive and it is stronger to retaliate and take an eye for an eye, for example war lords. Now that might seem like an over simplification but bear with me.

Let’s look at why so many of us struggle with forgiving – we struggle forgiving other people, other things and sometimes even ourselves. I believe there are two reasons for this:

1. We believe that we are weak if we forgive. They wronged us and they should be made to pay!

Let’s look at this one more closely. The Dalai Lama proclaims that for every single one of us, our fundamental nature is one of compassion and nurturing. In times where there are unspeakable crimes and wars, this does not seem to make sense. However, let me ask you a question – think back to a time when you were really happy. What emotional “state” were you in? Were you in state of anger and hatred or were you in a state of love and compassion? I bet it was the latter. So if we are happier when we are being compassionate and loving, would it not make sense for us to look for ways to make ourselves happier more often? That makes sense doesn’t it?

By the way, aren’t most of us drawn to things that make us happy? It could be our favourite TV show, hanging out with friends and loved ones, curling up with a good book or travelling. Whatever it is, we are drawn towards those things. This would seem to indicate that we are driven towards seeking greater levels of happiness. For example, for those of us who want to create greater levels of wealth, we don’t want lots of pieces of paper with deceased people on them do we? No, we want the things that money can buy because we believe that will lead to greater levels of happiness.

So now, if happiness is what we’re looking for, does holding on to the hurts done to us by other people make us happier? Does holding on to our past mistakes give us more joy? We know the answer.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Around about this time, when I’m speaking to people about forgiveness, I get some of the following arguments:

• Niro, how can you say that by forgiving someone I will be happier. You don’t know what they did to me. They stole from me / betrayed me/ took what was mine / cheated on me and got away with it! You don’t know how bad that is.
  OR
• My uncle raped me when I was a kid and got away with it – and now he is continuing to do it. He’s a terrible person and he continues to hurt and sexually abuse all the young boys he comes into contact with. He deserves to die a painful death! Why should I forgive him?
  OR
• I trusted her and gave her all my money. We were going to do business together but then she betrayed me and took everything. Now I have nothing!

This brings us to the second reason why we struggle to forgive others.

2. We don’t believe that the person who wronged us deserves to be forgiven

This was one, I really struggled with and even now, I’m still challenged by it. In my younger days, my philosophy used to be – they don’t deserve to be forgiven. They have not repented; they have not paid for their mistakes or sins, why should I forgive them? And I would be extremely righteous about the whole thing.

Somewhere along the line, I learned something that changed my life forever and I want to give you the benefit of that same wisdom. My sincere hope is that you take it and integrate it into your own thinking.

“You don’t forgive people because they deserve it. You forgive people because you deserve it.”

When I first heard this, I thought it was the most ridiculous piece of advice I’d ever heard. What did the guy mean by saying, “I forgive people because I deserve to.” I had not done anything wrong here… and that was the point! I realised that I was not the wrongdoer, yet I was suffering! To remove the suffering, forgiveness was a gift I had to give myself because it was only by forgiving that I could move on from the event and the hurt. Otherwise, I’d always be hampered by it. I realised that holding onto my anger was like holding onto a hot coal, hoping the other person would burn. It made no sense.

I realised this was true when I looked at certain people who I believed had wronged me; for example betrayed me in business. Some of them seemed to be happy and moving forwards in their life – they did not seem to be paying for the fact that they “screwed me over!” The boss who fired me despite the fact that I was a hard working, good and loyal employee was going great guns and yet I was still struggling. The business partner who failed to give me my share of the profits seemed to be doing fine but I was the one being challenged. It seemed almost like the person who committed the wrong was ok but I, who had been wronged, was being punished. It was not fair… or so I thought!!

That’s when I realised that I was playing the role of the victim – it was all about poor me! I started to realise that I had to take responsibility for how I felt – yes the event happened, but now I could choose how to respond to it. I could let it burn me from the inside out, or I could choose to move on. My choice! It’s also your choice.

I also started to understand that the only way for me to move on was to forgive the people who had wronged me. As I said, the event happened – nobody could argue with that, but now the event is in the past. Holding onto it only brings it back into the present and affects our future. We’ve got to let it go so we can move on – that’s why forgiveness is the greatest gift we can give ourselves. Forgiving others truly is freedom for the soul!

Nelson Mandella was unjustly imprisoned for 25 years in a small cell – nobody would have blamed if he was angry and almost wanted to kill every white person when he was released. Yet, we admired him even more because he forgave the people who had taken the best years of his life away from him and then he ruled the country with them, side by side.

The Dalai Lama’s family was completely massacred by the Chinese. Yet we respect and admire him more because he forgave the very people that murdered his family and he is now an ardent seeker of peace.Mahatma Gandhi forgave the injustices of the British Empire and fought for independence through peace, thereby unifying an entire country!

It is unlikely that most of us will ever have to face such massive challenges as the three men mentioned above. So the time is now for us to forgive whatever it is that we are holding onto. I know that the event or events might have been absolutely horrendous – it could have been as bad as sexual, physical, emotional or mental abuse. Perhaps the event involved a betrayed of trust, a ripping out of our heart – however, no matter how grave the hurt, we must forgive so we can move on.

The question then becomes – how do we forgive such heinous and monstrous acts, especially when there is so much pain associated with the incident(s)?

Whenever I am faced with that same question, I remember the following quote:

“Forgiveness is not an emotion, it’s a decision” Randall Worley

We must decide to forgive. We must see that the pain we are causing ourselves and the people we love by holding on to this hate is too destructive – instead we can forgive and release ourselves from the emotional bondage we have placed ourselves under. Forgiveness gives us release, forgiveness gives us freedom!

I’m not saying it will be easy – most definitely not! However, if you decide not to forgive, how long will you hold onto the hurt for? How long will you hate the person for what they did to you? Some might say, until they get what they deserve – sure, but then what? You might think that an eye for an eye is what they deserve and I have to admit, I used to think that too until I came across this quote:

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.” Mahatma Gandhi

Revenge is never the answer and in your heart of hearts, you know that’s true. We only seek revenge because we feel it will ease our pain. Holding on to the pain is never the answer either. In fact, it is a strange irony that many of us hold on to the pain by being angry and blaming others because we do not actually want to face the pain we feel inside. To forgive another, we must actually face the very pain that is eating us from inside; it is this pain that makes us do things that in hindsight we are not proud of. We must face that pain and it will hurt which is why Gandhi tells us that forgiveness is not a hallmark of the weak but rather the strong!

Yet many of us steadfastly refuse to do look at our pain and hurt, often because we are scared that we do not have the strength. Dear friend, I guarantee that you have the strength if you are only willing to look within yourself. Face the pain – it may be sharp pain, it may bring you to tears but you will get through it. And then you will be free of whatever it is that has been eating you from inside. Have the courage to face your own internal pain – do not lash out at others, whether it be the person who wronged you or another for that is the easy option. The courageous choice is to look within yourself, face the pain and forgive. It may be more painful in the short term, but over time this option is by far the more liberating and rewarding.

Now of course, one question remains – we can forgive the person or people who have wronged us but then what? What about the abuser who continues to sexually abuse young children placed under his care? Do we just forget about it and move on? Absolutely not!

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” Martin Luthor King Jnr

The Dalai Lama forgave the Chinese and now fights for peace. Mandella forgave the Whites but he still put an end to White Supremacy and Apartheid. Martin Luthor Kind Jnr fought to end the injustices of black segregation by forgiving the whites and living with them.

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit together at the table of brotherhood.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

What these great mean have learned is that by forgiving the wrongs done to us, we have freedom and we have inner peace. Then we can choose to fight for what it is that we believe in!

So instead of holding the grudge against the business partner that betrayed you, the boss that fired you, the supplier that screwed you over, forgive them, release yourself from the bondage that you have been suffering from and then move forwards and work towards achieving your goals. Instead of holding a grudge against the person that abused you, forgive them. You must remember that someone who abuses or hurts others is not someone who is not happy themselves. Unfortunately they failed to realise that happiness comes from loving, giving and sharing, not dominating, controlling and abusing. Forgive them and then ensure that they are not perpetrating their heinous acts. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but we are talking about your life here. What kind of life do you want to create? Do you want to create a magnificent life, full of happiness, joy, love and fulfilment? I know you do and it starts with forgiveness. Remember, forgiveness truly is freedom for the soul!

Remember Oprah Winfrey – one of the most powerful women in the world. Yet she started from obscurity, from poverty, from a life of abuse. If she continued to blame all those who had wronged her and sought to “get them back”, the world would have been robbed of one of its shining lights! Instead she chose to rise above the pain and use her gifts for good. Who are you hurting and who is missing out on the gift that is you because you are unable to forgive? Please – forgive the hurt, release yourself and make your life a glorious one. You were put on this planet to share your gifts, not to squander them. Always try to remember this great quote from Martin Luthor King Jnr:

Forgiveness is not an occasional act: it is an attitude.

All of us want world peace and it starts from within; it starts by us learning to forgive each other. If we could each forgive our fellow man, we can release ourselves from the pain the we carry and then we can start being more at peace with ourselves. Ask yourself this question, if more of us hadinner peace, would we then need to continually carry out acts of destruction?

I hope this article has been valuable to you. If it has, please share it on Digg, Stumbleupon and Twitter. Together, let’s help make the world a better place, forgive each other, forgive ourselves and as the late great Michael Jackson says, “Let’s Heal The World”

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We’ve all heard about the power of our attitude and that it’s our attitude that determines how much we succeed in life. Statements such as “It’s not just our aptitude but our attitude that determines our success” are often sprouted and I think we’d all agree that people with a positive attitude just seem to enjoy life more and are generally happier and more successful. But how do we change our attitude? Here are 7 simple tips I’ve used often that you can implement to change your attitude very quickly.

1. Be honest with yourself.

If you’re feeling bad or down and your attitude towards life or work is quite poor, then admit it to yourself. Don’t live in denial. Accept there is an issue because only once you’ve accepted something for the way it is can you make a change.

2. Get some rest

Have there been times when you’re overworked and stressed and you’re not getting as much rest as you should? How do you feel during those times? I bet you’re agitated and the smallest things can set you off. Often just getting some rest and forcing ourselves to take a break can be the best thing for our attitude. Adequate rest and sleep is a vital ingredient to maintaining a positive attitude.

3. Get clear on exactly what is causing you to have such a bad attitude

What exactly is bothering you? Is it your boss? Your partner? Your kids? There have been many times when I know I’m not quite feeling right but I can’t put a finger on exactly what’s bothering me and until I can figure it out, my attitude remains bad. However, once I figure out exactly what is bothering me (and that usually only takes a few minutes of quiet reflection), I can then do something about it and my attitude immediately changes.

4. Look at the Consequences of your Bad Attitude

For example, are you stressed at work because of impending deadlines? Is that causing you to snap at your kids and walk around the house with a bad attitude. If so, look at the consequences of that. Your poor kids and your partner have got nothing to do with how things are at work. So why should they cop the brunt of your poor attitude? If you continue with this, what’s going to happen? Things at home will only get worse and that will only make your attitude even worse. It’s a negative spiral which is very tough to get out of. So get clear on the consequences of your bad attitude. Who are you hurting as a result of being grumpy?

5. Do Something to change your attitude

What can you do to improve your attitude? For example, if you’ve had a bad day at work and you’re about to walk in the door and see the family with that same bad attitude, what can you do to change the way you feel? If I’m walking home, I will often take a longer route. The added exercise and fresh air often helps clear my head or I’ll start listening to some uplifting music which immediately improves my attitude. I might also go for a run or head to the gym. What can you do to change your attitude.

6. Change the way you are looking at the situation

We all have trigger situations that cause us to get into a bad mood and to have a bad attitude toward life. Remember it is not the event, experience or problem itself but rather the way we respond to it that makes us feel the way we do. For example, if you feel like you have too much to do at work, rather than complaining and wishing it will go away, take on your extra work as a challenge. Imagine how good it would feel to get through all this work and have your head about water again. Then, with your new positive attitude attack your workload with a new enthusiastic gusto. I guarantee that when you change the way you look at something, your attitude and your results will immediately change.

7. Have an attitude of gratitude.

When Sir John Templeton was interviewed and he was asked what the definition of wealth is, he replied, “Live with an attitude of gratitude”. Everyday, look for things to be grateful for. I don’t care how tough things get, there is always something to be grateful for, whether it is as simple as the fact that you have eyes to see things with, a roof over your head or a bed to sleep in. Look for 5 things to be grateful for everyday, seek to live with an attitude of gratitude and watch your entire attitude towards life change.

So there you have it – 7 tips you can use immediately to change your attitude. Remember, you have complete control over your attitude – you can choose the way you feel. So use these 7 steps to improve your attitude and you’ll be amazed at how much more relaxed and happier you feel.