One of the key things determing our altitude in life is our attitude towards life. In other words, how we think about life and how we respond to the events that life puts in front of us has more to do with our results in life than almost any other factor.

I have spoken about how to change your attitude in an earlier blog post… but in today’s video I want to to look at the key attitude that will determine your success and fulfilment in life. I call it an attitude of contribution and I talk about why it is so important to contribute to yourself as well as to others.

Watch the video and then leave me a comment below.

Yours in gratitude,

Niro

0 people like this post.

Like 

Are you someone who constantly fights against life? Do you incessantly try to control and craft every aspect of your life to get to a certain destination?

I know that’s how I used to be… and it’s still something I grapple with on a daily basis. However, I’m learning very quickly that I can’t control the way life goes. Life goes the way life goes… and we need to go along with the tide.

Just like a fish has no control of the current, we have no control over life.

If you had told me that a few years ago, I would have argued with you until I was blue in the face. I was actually arrogant enough to believe that I was in control of my life – and I could direct exactly which way things would go. I was in control! To prove this, I used to do things like:

• Constantly track my income and expenses – and forecast how many sales I was going to get in order to achieve my next shiny new toy… and by when!
• Try and control my friends into doing what I wanted to do… no wonder I always struggled to have a decent friendship with anyone.
• Plan out my day to the minute – I knew exactly what I was going to do at 10.05!! (Can you imagine how much time I wasted planning out my day… and then how frustrated I got about 15 minutes later when I got a phone call that completely changed my plans)

… well you get the picture of the arrogant, self absorbed individual I was. Yet I never knew it!

And that’s when life taught me a lesson I’ll always remember. Despite all my best intentions, hard work and well laid out plans, I ended up broke at age 29… with just $17 in my bank account…. wondering why life was so unfair and what I’d done wrong.

However, when you have nothing (especially nothing to lose), you can create anything. And so I started learning more about myself and life. And I learned that life truly is amazing.

There is a saying in my native Tamil language which says, “Whatever happened, happened for a good reason. Whatever will happen will also happen for a good reason.”

Now I know there are lots of events in this world that don’t seem right. And you might have had experiences that I would never wish on anyone. However, I’ve learned that all is well in this world… but you need to trust life, rather than try and control it!

You need to trust and understand that everything that has happened to you has happened for a reason… to help you reach your greatest life. But you’ll miss the message unless you learn to listen to life.

As human beings, in today’s society, we feel that we must be in control and that life must listen to us. That used to be me… and as I said, I’m still working on it just like I recommend you do.

As Robin Sharma says in the Discover Your Destiny With The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, “Your life will work much better once you begin to listen to life. Let it lead you rather than trying to push the river. And trust that where life carries you is exactly where you are meant to be. Let go of resistance and move into a posture of surrendering to whatever is unfolding. Doing so is one of the ways you will ensure that you will walk the path of your destiny, your true path.”

Now this does not mean that if you just sit under a tree and meditate, you’ll get everything you want from life. No, what it says is that life and the universe is here to help you achieve what your spirit and soul wants from life… even if the way that help arrives is not in the way you want.

So take time to listen to your heart and your instincts… and give up the illusion of control. Understand that your best laid plans will probably blow up in your face… but set them anyway and then be ready to change them. You’ve heard the line – “If you want to see if God has a sense of humour, tell him your plans”.

Instead of always trying to plan for the future, live in the moment… and trust that all will be ok. It won’t be easy to live this way at first… but if you’re willing to work on it, I promise you it can be a very freeing way to live.

I’ll leave you now with a video from Kung Fu Panda which echoes exactly what this blog post has been all about.

Yours in gratitude,

Niro

0 people like this post.

Like 

I recently read this statement somewhere and it may be stop dead!

What a way to look at life. Are you living your life as a lie?

Do you get up every day with a sense of dread as to what the day holds for you? Do you secretly wish you could sleep in just a little longer…?

When Sunday evening comes, are you already miserable… worrying about having to go to work?

Do you spend the majority of your time awake doing something you don’t like…?

If any of this is you… then maybe you are living your life as a lie.

Harsh words right?! But bear with me.

We’re only here on this planet for a limited time – so doesn’t it make sense to make the best of it?

The late (and great) Steve Jobs said, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

We need to understand that this is our life… and ultimately it is only us who are responsible for how we live it. Yes, external circumstances, people and events have an impact on us… but we can choose how to respond.

We can choose to get up a little earlier in the morning to work on something we’re passionate about. Or we can choose to sleep in.

We can choose to exercise and be full of energy or vitality… or we can choose to eat bad food and put on weight. It’s our choice. Or more accurately – it’s your choice!

So discover your destiny and walk the path. How do you do it?

First, start being true to yourself. As Steve Jobs said, listen to your heart and your intuition. Trust yourself.

Ask, “What parts of my life don’t feel right to me?” Pick one and then start working on that. Only you can know the path that has been laid out for you, the one that your heart is calling you to walk.

Sure, if you’re like a lot of people, you stopped listening to what your heart said a long time ago. Instead you got caught up in the treadmill of life, trying to keep your head above water… and meet everyone else’s expectations.

But remember, it is your life. Take the time to be silent, listen to your heart and be true to yourself.

After all, I don’t think you want to be the person who’s gravestone says, “Lived their life as a lie…And failed to fulfil their potential!”

0 people like this post.

Like 

Sometimes – or even often in business and life – things go wrong.

And it’s so easy to let our minds take over and take us into a downward spiral as we indulge in feelings of self-pity. We start to think things like “Why me? Poor me? It always happens to me…” etc. Any of that sound familiar?

I know I used to that quite frequently when I first got into business and sales. And I still do every now and again. Beat myself up, blame the universe, blame anything I can… and in general get into a negative state of mind.

Just yesterday a sale I found out that a sale I had worked so hard to make is probably going to fall over at the last minute… through no fault at all of my own or the client’s.
So much hard work… and I still came up empty.

Was I disappointed? Yep!

So what do you do when these kinds of things happen? When you deliver a bad presentation? Fail to land the deal? Have something criticise you…

Well imagine you are a tennis player… and you screw up a shot.
Do you have time to sit around and lament about how you should have done better… or you got a bad bounce or whatever?

No!

You have about 30 seconds to pull yourself together and then get ready for the next point!
Otherwise they are very quickly going to spiral downwards, perform badly… and invariably lose the match.

That’s the way to think about it in life and business.

Now you will generally have more than 30 seconds to get over it in life and business…but the more time you spend thinking about what happened and how it went wrong, the more time you waste…when you could have been looking for the next opportunity, the next client, the next experience.

So next time when things go wrong, try this…

Give yourself a 30 minute window to worry. Actively tell yourself that this is my next 30 minutes to worry, complain and gripe about everything that’s bad in the world.

(Sometimes, just telling myself that gets me out of my funk because it sounds so ridiculous!)

Spend those 30 minutes griping and whinging… then once done, take 3 slow deep breaths and then ask yourself these 5 questions:

1. What’s better? To focus on what happened (after all it’s over and there is nothing you can do about it) or to focus on the next opportunity?
2. What is actually going well in my life?  Take a few minutes to really consider this (even write it down). Sometimes, we lose complete perspective just because something does not go according to plan.
3. What could I be grateful for right now? Get back to focusing on what’s important in life.
4. Why do I want to keep going? What was your reason for getting into this line of work in the first place? Get clear on your motivation. It is after all when obstacles come that you realise whether your reasons are big enough for you to keep going… or do you pull the plug?
5. What can I learn from this “negative experience” that could make me better for next time?

Once done, get back into the game as soon as possible – but with a new attitude! As a friend of mine once said, “Niro, It Happened! It’s Over! Next!”

As you go through life, things will go wrong. Minimise the time you spend wallowing in what could have been and why things didn’t go according to plan… and instead focus on the key word “NEXT!”

Yours in gratitude,
Niro

0 people like this post.

Like 

Let me ask you a question…

Are you someone who enjoys what you do at work and find great fulfilment in it?

Or are you like the millions of people around the world who dread getting up every morning to go to a job that kills your spirit everyday?

Sure you could change your job – but have you done that in the past, only to find that after the initial excitement of the change, you end up feeling the same way as you did in your last job? I know I’ve done that.

In the past, I’ve often felt that no matter what job I do, I often end up depressed on a Sunday night, thinking about the week ahead. That was until I made one change in the way I thought… and it changed everything for me.

If you want to enjoy more fulfilment in your current job, here’s what you need to do…

… Focus on the difference you make at work.

When I first heard this, my reaction was, “Yeah right! I hate my job, my boss hates me… and you want me to focus on what difference I make. What I do does not matter to anyone…”

Well, if you’re like how I was, let’s consider the following occupations…

If you’re a teacher, you make a difference by shaping the young minds of today, so they can have a positive impact on the world tomorrow. Of course, not every child you teach may end up doing great things – but at least one might. Wouldn’t it be a great feeling to know that one of your students became the next Steve Jobs or Oprah Winfrey because of how you shaped their minds?

If you’re an insurance broker – it can be a thankless profession. Until you realise that nobody wants insurance but everybody wants security and protection for themselves and everything they value. Are you someone who provides that peace of mind to people?

A real estate agent helps people find homes where they can have a family, watch their kids grow up and have a roof over their heads.

A financial planner helps people lift the financial burdens off their shoulders and can give people peace of mind that their retirements are taken care of.

Think about it. What do you do? And what kind of difference would this make to you if you realised just how important your contribution is… if you start focusing on how you and your efforts matter and make a difference!

Why not share your thoughts in the comments box? Share with us what you do and what difference you think could make… I bet you it will change your life.

All for now,

Niro

0 people like this post.

Like 

Why is it that some people are able to achieve success almost effortlessly while others of us try and try again, only to never make any real progress?

Why is it that some people can bounce back from the toughest of circumstances while for other of us, one small rejection can see us giving up on our goals?

Why is it that some people can achieve one success after the other… while others of us get a fleeting glimpse of success before we then go back to our old way of being? (Ever lost weight only to pile it all back on a short while later? Then you know what I mean…)

There is one reason and only one reason alone that all of this happens – and that is your self-esteem or self-confidence. The more you believe in yourself, the more you are willing to persevere to overcome external obstacles… and the more you will keep building on your successes.

Put simply – If your internal self-esteem is greater than your external circumstances, then you will win the game of life. Or as John De Martini said, “When your internal voices are louder than the external voices, you have then mastered your life.”

“That’s all well and good Niro”, I hear you say, “But how do you improve your self-confidence and self-esteem?”

Well I’m glad you asked

There are a few different ways, including visualisation and positive affirmations. However, I want to look at something a lot more practical today – something you can easily implement without taking any extra time out of your already busy days.

One of the best ways I have found to improve your self confidence and increase your self esteem is to…

“Make and keep promises – to yourself and to others!”

That might seem a little unusual but bear with me..

You see, you can’t have confidence in someone until you can trust that person – and that applies to you too. I believe that self-confidence comes from self-trust. You won’t have any confidence in yourself if you can’t trust yourself. Ever heard yourself say something like, “Oh I know I should get up early (and I mean to) but then I know I’ll never do it.” Or “I meant to do that (take your partner out for a romantic dinner, spend more time with the kids, exercise more, send a thank you note to a dear friend etc) but I just never got around to it.”

The problem is that most of us think that when we don’t do something that promise ourselves, it does not matter. After all if you don’t exercise today, you’re not going to die of a heart attack. If you don’t take your partner out for that romantic dinner, you’re not going to lose them… And there is always next weekend to spend with the kids right?

But let me ask you, how do you feel when you break these promises? Not great right? Sure maybe the other people will forgive you – but you remember! And as you start breaking these small promises to yourself and to others, you start to trust yourself just that little bit less… until week after week, month after month, year after year, your self-trust and self-confidence starts hitting rock bottom and you feel completely unworthy.

Of course, you never say this. You always have good intentions but perhaps you’ll blame work and the fact that you are always too busy. Or that life just always gets in the way despite your best intentions – and it’s never your fault. But secretly, deep down in your heart, you know that’s not true.

Someone once said, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions.” We all have good intentions but we must follow through on our promises. Intentions are a start but it’s only action that will give us the results we want.

So start the process today! Make a small promise to yourself to do something that will set you on the path to leading the life you want. Perhaps you can promise yourself to get up 10 minutes earlier than you normally do. And see how that feels when you make and keep such a simple promise to yourself. Believe me, you’ll be amazed at how effective this simple exercise is in making you feel better about yourself and increasing your self esteem.

As you start making and keeping promises to yourself, you will start making and keeping promises to others. And as you do that watch how your relationships start to flourish…imagine being the kind of father who says he’ll be there to watch his child’s performance – and then actually turns up! Imagine being the kind of person who takes the time to surprise her partner with a spicy, romantic evening – for no reason other than you love your partner and you promised yourself that you would do it… and you did! Imagine being the kind of person who promises yourself to get up early every morning to exercise, no matter how busy you are – and then you actually do it.

Try this habit of making and keeping promises to yourself (and then to others) for just 30 days and watch your life change. I promise!

Three strikes and you’re out.

That’s baseball right?

While I’m not American and haven’t watched that
much baseball, I do know that much.

Unfortunately, many of us confuse the game of
baseball with the game of life.

I know I have.

Let me explain: Sometimes we make mistakes.
Sometimes we fail. Sometimes stuff just doesn’t
go the way we planned.

For instance, let’s say you try a new project
but fail to get it done because of time commitments.

So you try again, only to be overwhelmed once more
with how much you have to do (now you start to
wonder why you ever started in the first place)

Then you try one more time to get the project
over the line (perhaps it’s to lose weight, start
a part time business, spend more time connecting
with the love of your life)… only to bomb out
once more.

Now you are less likely to have time challenges
if you follow the principles available here
but the truth is most people would give up at that
stage.

Psychologically, they turn their back on trying
again and head back to the dugout.

They stop trying… stop dreaming… stop trying
to learn and grow.

These are the people who say, “It’s all too hard”
or “That will never work… I tried it and it
didn’t work for me”…

You get the idea.

And sadly, they end up just chugging along, making
ends meet, doing what they need to do to survive,
never really happy with how their life is… secretly
wishing things could be different but never having
the courage to try again.

After my first business venture went under. After
my first property development venture went south.
After I got fired twice in 8 months. After I
struggled for months with my consulting business,
it would have been easy for me to throw in the towel.

But no matter what happened. No matter how many
times I screwed up, no matter
what my history suggested…

I never stopped dreaming about running a
successful business, being financially free and
making a difference in the lives of other people.

Most successful business people I have met have
had the same experiences.

Now, I still have a while to go before I call
myself a successful businessman but here’s the
thing:

If you have 3 strike outs in
business, in love, or in life in general…

YOU ARE NOT OUT

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE DUGOUT

YOU ARE STILL IN THE GAME

The only time you are OUT is when you decide to be
out.

Remember that – as long as your heart is still
beating, you are still in the game… if you
choose to be.

And that’s the key thing to remember. Life is
all about choice.

So if you’re struggling right now…

If you’ve failed and can’t seem to get things
working…

Don’t give up.

By all means, do something different…

Learn how to master your time (it’s the only
thing we all have the same amount of everyday)

Discover how to change your attitude...

Master how to handle rejection…

Focus on getting through those tough times…

And keep looking for new avenues to succeed.

But whatever you do, don’t give up after 3 strikes.

Because the gold is sitting somewhere after the
fourth strike.

To your success,

Niro